Hello lads gents and soon to be gents today we are talking about
It's a lovely thing to be in a committed, healthy relationship. It's even lovelier if you feel impassioned to learn ways to become a better partner than you already are right now. And it's the best when your partner feels the same way. In that case, you've found the holy trifecta of a relationship: having a healthy one, wanting to show up for your partner and improve the way you do so, and your partner wanting the same thing. Congratulations.
But also good luck, because relationships are constantly evolving entities, and they need frequent attention and care to thrive. They're like plants. That's why you're supposed to be able to keep a plant, and then a pet, alive and happy before you're ready for a relationship. Or so they say. Even if you're a champion gardener and have a bevy of cute puppies, everyone can learn new relationship tricks. Here are some ways that anyone can be a better partner, because there's no reason to stop growing and evolving just because you're happy with them. And if you're not terribly happy, all the more reason to give one (or all 21) of these a shot.
1. Do One Nice Thing Every Day
Simple, right? "Do one nice thing for your partner every day," Marina Sbrochi, IPPY award-winning author of Stop Looking for a Husband: Find the Love of Your Life tells Bustle. This is not a long, complicated, involved suggestion. "It doesn’t have to be big," she says. "Make breakfast in bed. A five-minute back rub. Flowers. Saying thank you when your partner does something nice." The effort may be small, but the dividends are great. "Sit back and watch how your relationship grows," she says.
2. Be You
Be yourself, yes, but specifically be your "own person," Caitlin K. Roberts, founder of To Be a Slut and co-founder of I'd Tap That, tells Bustle. Have your own interests, and don't force your partner to come along to every basketball game or brunch that you want to go to, she says. "Be passionate about something," she says."Stop thinking of the relationship as combination of 'you and me,' but something that 'you and me work on and create together.'" That way, you're not contributing to any negativity.
3. Be Happy, Not Right
"Couples get caught up in who’s right and who’s wrong," relationship coach and therapist Anita Chlipala tells Bustle. "Here’s a concept: You’re both right!" Most relationships see people taking turns being wrong or right, depending on what life throws at them. But that's looking at things in a black-and-white way, and she says that's a bad idea.
"Each partner has a subjective reality that is valid," she says. "Just because you don’t agree with your partner doesn’t mean that he or she is wrong. Their perspective is just different." Instead of jumping to conclusions and jumping all over your partner, try a little tenderness. "You can be a better partner by trying to understand your partner and then validating their point of view, feelings, behaviors, etc.," she says. "Feeling respected is an absolute necessity in order to have a healthy relationship." Truth.
4. Give Your Partner Your Undivided Attention
Not every minute of every day, of course. But for a positive relationship, you have to sit down and really go there with your partner sometimes. Emily Bouchard, a certified money coach, tells Bustle, "The simplest, fastest and most consistent way to become a better partner is often not the easiest to do, but will make the biggest difference." Quite simply, that looks like "Giving your partner your undivided attention and listening to them in a way where they have the experience that they matter, and that you heard them." That's all we really want, isn't it? To feel like we matter in relationships, and that we're being heard.
5. Don't Expect Your Partner To Be Your Parent
"You can become a better partner by not expecting your mate to be your mommy or daddy," relationship coach and psychic medium Cindi Sansone-Braff, author of Why Good People Can't Leave Bad Relationships , tells Bustle. Sure, you may assume that you're already not doing that, because who does that? "Take responsibility for your shortcomings and work on healing your own personal issues," she says. "Don't expect your partner to clean up your mess or to do for you what you're perfectly capable of doing for yourself."
Don't fall into the same behavioral patterns that you fell into with your actual parents, she says: "Your mother may have done everything for you, or daddy may have paid all your bills in the past, but those days are gone now." Don't ask your partner to pick up where your mom or dad left off. "Stop with your temper tantrums and your hissy fits," she says. "Do what you're expected to do without being told. In other words, start being be a grown-up." Everyone will be happier, including you.
I hope these will help you bee a better gentleman and as always have a chilled day from the viking.
It's a lovely thing to be in a committed, healthy relationship. It's even lovelier if you feel impassioned to learn ways to become a better partner than you already are right now. And it's the best when your partner feels the same way. In that case, you've found the holy trifecta of a relationship: having a healthy one, wanting to show up for your partner and improve the way you do so, and your partner wanting the same thing. Congratulations.
But also good luck, because relationships are constantly evolving entities, and they need frequent attention and care to thrive. They're like plants. That's why you're supposed to be able to keep a plant, and then a pet, alive and happy before you're ready for a relationship. Or so they say. Even if you're a champion gardener and have a bevy of cute puppies, everyone can learn new relationship tricks. Here are some ways that anyone can be a better partner, because there's no reason to stop growing and evolving just because you're happy with them. And if you're not terribly happy, all the more reason to give one (or all 21) of these a shot.
1. Do One Nice Thing Every Day
2. Be You
Be yourself, yes, but specifically be your "own person," Caitlin K. Roberts, founder of To Be a Slut and co-founder of I'd Tap That, tells Bustle. Have your own interests, and don't force your partner to come along to every basketball game or brunch that you want to go to, she says. "Be passionate about something," she says."Stop thinking of the relationship as combination of 'you and me,' but something that 'you and me work on and create together.'" That way, you're not contributing to any negativity.
3. Be Happy, Not Right
"Couples get caught up in who’s right and who’s wrong," relationship coach and therapist Anita Chlipala tells Bustle. "Here’s a concept: You’re both right!" Most relationships see people taking turns being wrong or right, depending on what life throws at them. But that's looking at things in a black-and-white way, and she says that's a bad idea.
"Each partner has a subjective reality that is valid," she says. "Just because you don’t agree with your partner doesn’t mean that he or she is wrong. Their perspective is just different." Instead of jumping to conclusions and jumping all over your partner, try a little tenderness. "You can be a better partner by trying to understand your partner and then validating their point of view, feelings, behaviors, etc.," she says. "Feeling respected is an absolute necessity in order to have a healthy relationship." Truth.
4. Give Your Partner Your Undivided Attention
Not every minute of every day, of course. But for a positive relationship, you have to sit down and really go there with your partner sometimes. Emily Bouchard, a certified money coach, tells Bustle, "The simplest, fastest and most consistent way to become a better partner is often not the easiest to do, but will make the biggest difference." Quite simply, that looks like "Giving your partner your undivided attention and listening to them in a way where they have the experience that they matter, and that you heard them." That's all we really want, isn't it? To feel like we matter in relationships, and that we're being heard.5. Don't Expect Your Partner To Be Your Parent
"You can become a better partner by not expecting your mate to be your mommy or daddy," relationship coach and psychic medium Cindi Sansone-Braff, author of Why Good People Can't Leave Bad Relationships , tells Bustle. Sure, you may assume that you're already not doing that, because who does that? "Take responsibility for your shortcomings and work on healing your own personal issues," she says. "Don't expect your partner to clean up your mess or to do for you what you're perfectly capable of doing for yourself."
Don't fall into the same behavioral patterns that you fell into with your actual parents, she says: "Your mother may have done everything for you, or daddy may have paid all your bills in the past, but those days are gone now." Don't ask your partner to pick up where your mom or dad left off. "Stop with your temper tantrums and your hissy fits," she says. "Do what you're expected to do without being told. In other words, start being be a grown-up." Everyone will be happier, including you.
I hope these will help you bee a better gentleman and as always have a chilled day from the viking.
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